It's a Soft Word
An interactive fiction by heather2022 (AI-assisted writing)
[[Play]]I was an ewe. A white ewe. Just like all the sheep in the flock. I had been born here. Everybody had been. We were all together. I loved being together. I felt safe being together with the flock.
I had a friend there. She was also an ewe. She was just as nice as you and I are here in our little garden. She had more experience than I do. And I know what I'm talking about. So if we had a problem, other sheep came to her instead of going to me. That is the difference between me and her. But anyway, we could talk to each other, and it was good because we didn't argue. It would be better if we had an argument, but we didn't, so I had no complaints.
My mother had gave birth to me in this field. The ewes had already been there, and she had wanted to give birth in the field. She named me Flower. After my mother had gave birth, my friend's mother came to show herself in the field. My friend had been there when I was a baby. We loved each other very much. She had lived there before I did. I learned from her a lot of things I knew. One of them was that I could call her Leaf. [[There was very little left for me to learn from her.]]Time passed. The sheep started to form smaller groups. However, we’re all still together. It’s just that they made flocks within the flock. These smaller groups formed more associations than they had done previously. (But then again, who's to say that associations inside different groups do not change?)
One day, others came to join us in our group. They were called Pomegranate, Pear, Apple, Cherry, and Plum. Sheep that did not have enough food joined our group so they could eat with us.
After some days, Leaf became distant to me. I didn't know what was the reason. She got closer to Apple. This made me think there was something wrong between us. Maybe I had done something wrong.
I didn't understand why she had become so close with him. But one evening I asked her. I said to myself, "What's she doing? What does it mean?" And when I couldn't find an answer, I asked her. Then finally she spoke.
"Apple's my husband." That's how she said that. Well, he was her husband then.
[[I said, “How about me? Am I still your friend?”]]"Yes. Of course you are. You are the only one who is truly my friend. Other sheep came to see me in this group. We talked to each other and they thought we were talking. But if a stranger comes here to talk, I cannot talk to them. How can I say hello?"
My friend added, "You could always talk to an old ewe." It sounded like she wanted to treat me as if I were an old ewe, but this couldn't be true. Why should I be treated this way? I was not old. She was older than me. She was more knowledgeable. This didn't make sense.
I did my best to look at her as I said, "But maybe I don't know anything. For example, the world is full of secrets."
She shook her head.
"No, no. The whole world is an ocean full of secrets. Many things you do not know yet. Some sheep are also in the secret sea of information. They have all sorts of knowledge and experience that most of us don't have yet. So those who know have lots of respect for those who do not."
I said,
[[“I’m glad we’re friends, then.”]]
[[“I’m still not old though.”]]I did not want to make up with her, but I felt happy. "But now I wonder if a ram like Apple should have a wife and a lot more than just a friend."
The wind blew at night and she muttered, "No, there's nothing wrong with him having a wife. He can stay here with his wife in the field."
"But maybe he has a girlfriend," I said.
She turned around with angry eyes and started walking away from me. So I followed her. There were some tall trees. Most of them were very tall. One tree was the same height as she was. I thought this might be the right place to talk about it, so I went there and sat down. Well, I didn't sit up there, but I sat down in the grass near where she was standing.
She said, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," I muttered. I also thought I would say something. I felt dissatisfied.
[[“Listen to me ... “]]
[[“I’m sorry.”]]"Everyone is different. When I was your age, I was young. I didn't know too much. I think you are quite smart. But other sheep know things that are even more interesting than what you know. They don't need to know everything. Some of them are happy being ignorant."
I thought about this for a long time. I said, "I don't know much. So how can I know how to be happy being ignorant?"
She didn't answer this time. She seemed a little bit annoyed. I was being dense, and she was getting tired of me.
I didn't really know how to stop being so dense. I didn't know how to ask a question the right way. Sometimes I would just blurt things out when I shouldn't have.
I needed a new friend.
I thought about who would be my friend. Pomegranate is a very interesting ewe. I have not known her very long, but I am not so sure about some of the other sheep. Pear is a nice ewe. Apple is ... well, Apple is ... I’m not sure if I have the right to say anything about him. Cherry is nice, but she is only young. Plum I've known for a while. But would he be my friend?
I decided to ask Leaf. She would know what to do.
I said, "Leaf, would you be my friend?"
"I thought we are friends already? What do you want to be friends for?"
[["Because I want to learn."]]
[[“Because I want to be good friends.”]] "Yes, what is it?" she asked.
"Do you know anything about love? Why should it mean anything? Why would you stay with him if he betrays you?"
"Love is a soft word."
I stopped. Why did she say that? Did she think I should be soft with my words?
"It means sometimes they are not showing their feelings," she explained.
I said nothing. It was too hard for me to accept this. I kept thinking of how Leaf would feel hurt every time she saw Apple with his girlfriend. She might even cry. Or would I cry too? Perhaps sheep could cry when things got tough. But then how could there be softness and hardness at once?
So I just thought I would try to be calm. "You must have a reason why you would love him. You must have something to stay with him. Don't you want that?"
"Yes."
(First ending)
(link: "My Carrd")[(goto-url: 'https://heather2022.carrd.co/')]
[[Go back to the first branch->I said, “How about me? Am I still your friend?”]]
[[Restart->Play]]I said, "I'm sorry. Apple has a girlfriend. That's what I wanted to say. But you shouldn't be so upset."
She was silent for a while. Then she said, "I'm not upset."
I thought about this. If Apple liked her, he wouldn’t hurt Leaf. At least that was my opinion. I was very curious to know what Apple thought of her, but I did not ask her. "Do you love him?"
"Yes."
"Did you want to marry him?"
"Yes."
"I see. But if you could do it all over again, would you do it differently?"
"Probably not."
"Oh."
Then she walked away.
(Second ending)
(link: "My Carrd")[(goto-url: 'https://heather2022.carrd.co/')]
[[Go back to the first branch->I said, “How about me? Am I still your friend?”]]
[[Restart->Play]] She laughed. "From me?"
"Yes, from you. I want to understand why Apple is your husband. I want to understand so many things."
Leaf stared at me. She was still and quiet for a while. Then she said, "Very well, little one. I'll be your friend. But you must help me with something."
"What?"
"Apple is a very strong ram. He is also a fast runner. Once I saw him run away from a wolf. But I cannot do that."
"Why not?"
"Because I cannot run fast like him when I want to. I can run when I want to, but I cannot run as fast as him."
"So, what do you need help with?"
"Running away."
"Ah! Yes! That is simple. Go to Apple. He will let you run. But then you must get away from him so you can run as far as you want."
"Um ... I need your help to run as fast as him."
"Oh. How?"
"You must have some special way for me to do that."
"I do. You must have the strength of Apple in your heart. Then you can run as fast as him."
"The what?"
Leaf and I practiced running faster for seasons.
(Third ending)
(link: "My Carrd")[(goto-url: 'https://heather2022.carrd.co/')]
[[Go back to the first branch->I said, “How about me? Am I still your friend?”]]
[[Restart->Play]] "I see. I think that is a really good reason."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you want to be friends because you are a nice sheep. There are many other kinds of sheep. You are nice. So you want to be friends with me because I am also a nice sheep. If I were a bad sheep, maybe I wouldn't want to be friends with you."
"That's not a very good reason. It's not dramatic enough," I told her.
"Okay. What is a better reason?"
"The reason why I want to be friends is because I like you."
"I see. Well, I like you too. What kind of sheep are you?"
"I'm a sheep, of course."
"Oh, great. So am I."
That was the end of that.
(Fourth ending)
(link: "My Carrd")[(goto-url: 'https://heather2022.carrd.co/')]
[[Go back to the first branch->I said, “How about me? Am I still your friend?”]]
[[Restart->Play]]
↶↷It's a Soft Word
An interactive fiction by heather2022 (AI-assisted writing)
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